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Writer's pictureJay Lowder

Secrets and #MeToo

In the last few months, curtains have been torn down and masks removed. What has been exposed to the world has been revolting and repulsive. Skeletons that the elite, powerful, and wealthy thought would remain in hidden tombs have not only been dug up, but have also been put on display for the entire world to see. Careers, marriages, and reputations have been disintegrated into ashes beyond recovery. The sexual abuse, incorrectly and often minimized as indiscretions, has come from a smorgasbord of treacherous fingers. Actors, singers, directors, TV hosts, preachers, and employers are just a sampling of the accused that have admitted some degree of culpability.

In the aftermath, much of what has been given is excuses, justifications, denials, disingenuous apologies, and rationalizations. Most give statements that covertly blame the victim or try to excuse their behaviors by mentioning the woman’s dress attire or some other inexcusable detail that validates nothing.

These people were under a delusion about secrecy. These last few months have reminded us that while some seeds take longer to push to the surface than others, the day comes when what was sown privately is reaped publicly. My mother always told me that a person never gets by with anything - she echoed this my entire life. She would always quote what Jesus said in the 10thchapter of Matthew verse 26 when He said that there is [nothing] covered that will not be revealed or hidden that will not be known. I didn’t believe it for years because I believed there was much of my life she was in the dark about. I was wrong; she knew a lot more than I thought! As I’ve gotten older, I’ve discovered she was right about secrets shouted on rooftops and I have the scars to prove it. As I reflect on my life, I see how most of my sicknesses have been intertwined and tangled up with secrets.

Secrets? Is there really such a thing? Even if no one else knows our transgressions does it prevent the truth from crippling our own consciences and progress? Does the fact that we feel the need to hide behaviors not remind us that we are in a danger zone? Did the people who perpetrated such evil and perversion think their money, power, or influence would delay or prevent justice? And I wonder what about the rest of us? What about myself?

Almost every man on the planet has at some point objectified a woman, spoke in a sexually crude manner, or pushed/crossed boundaries not theirs to cross. I regret to say I am guilty of saying things, or thinking things that I shouldn’t. Those of us who have not gone so far as sexual abuse, cannot justify our own shortcomings by comparison to those who have. Instead, we must recognize our need for change, stand for the victims, speak for the voiceless, educate our sons and brothers, and not sit by idly while others are victimized in word or deed.

When our current or future moms, sisters, or daughters are bruised, crushed, or violated then we are as well. Let’s grasp accountability for our darkness, so we do not have to fear the light that God will surely bring on us either in this life, or the next!

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